It's no surprise that as noticed my weight begin to creep up, I noticed the beginnings of some weight-related problems. Joint pain from the strain of excess weight on my knees and hips. High blood pressure. Difficulty sleeping. Fatigue. It's also no surprise that I had absolutely NO idea what to do about it. I had never been fat. In fact, as a child, my parents were told to feed me fattening foods to help me GAIN weight. I knew nothing about nutrition or diet or even exercise. In the military, I just ate what they gave me in the chow hall and did the required PT.
When a doctor finally told me I was beginning to become dangerously overweight, I knew I had to do something. At 200 lbs, I knew he was right. And so I embarked on my journey to get SKINNY! By any means possible. And I tried them all. Every fad diet. Every weight loss product. Every fitness program. And they all worked...for a while. But as soon as I stopped using whatever the current fad was at the time, the weight came back...with some extra just for good measure. Finally at 270 lbs and in total despair, I decided to stop listening to all the stuff and nonsense being promoted and do my own research.
And the first thing I discovered was that I was focusing on the wrong thing. I was so intent on being skinny again, I forgot about my health. As a child, I was told to gain weight because I was TOO SKINNY and unhealthy. In high school and college, you could see my hip bones and collar bones sticking out under my clothes. I was skinny. But I also suffered from headaches and "stomach bugs" and if there was a cold or flu going around, you could be sure I would get it. It took a while but I finally learned that SKINNY does not always equate to HEALTHY.
Yes, there are health risks associated with being overweight. Diabetes, high blood pressure, breast cancer, and heart disease to name a few. So I am not saying it's okay to give up trying to lose weight. What I am saying is stop trying for some idealized number on a scale and focus instead on getting healthy.
First, being skinny does not necessarily mean healthy. I remember one particular employee I had who was absolutely perfectly built. Thin and lovely. And always calling in sick. And I mean legitimately sick. If there was any kind of illness going around, she would get it. And my scrawny, string-bean husband is a Type 2 diabetic. You know...diabetes. The fat people's disease. He also has high cholesterol and heart disease. Both my hubs and my ex-employee are absolutely skinny. And both are terribly unhealthy.
Many skinny people assume that just because they are thin, they can eat whatever they want. They don't think about exercise. They are blessed with a high metabolism and so they don't worry about what they put in their bodies. My husband would eat a pound of bacon at one sitting and drink soda all day. My employee would often skip lunch to keep from gaining weight and then eat a candy bar and soda later in the day to keep her energy up. Healthy habits indeed!
So where am I now in my weight loss journey? Not focusing on weight loss. I am focused on health. I started meditating to help relieve stress and lower my blood pressure. I walk to help relieve the stiffness in my joints. I exercise which helps me sleep better. I discovered the unhealthy foods that were causing my headaches and stomach issues and have replaced them with fresh fruits and vegetables, lean protein, and less processed junk. I have given up soda in favor of unsweetened herbal teas and water.
Is it working? At my last checkup, I had lost a total of 60 pounds. My blood pressure is down 29 points. My blood sugar is normal. My cholesterol is normal. And because I have replaced fad dieting and ridiculously intense crash weight loss programs with healthy lifestyle changes, I know I can keep doing this for the rest of my life. I feel great. I look good. I am stronger and healthier than ever. And while I may not ever be skinny again, I am confident that I will reach a more ideal weight for me. But no matter what my final weight is, I know that I will always choose to focus on my health and not some arbitrary number on the scale. It's not about being skinny. It's about being healthy.
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